Where The Love Goes
Intimate counseling cohorts for women moving through relational grief, rupture, and change.
Some relationships change the architecture of our lives.
A family we believed we could always return to. A friendship we imagined would grow old alongside us. A person we still love but can no longer love in the same way, from the same distance, or within the same relationship.
When these relationships change, we don't only lose people. We can lose futures we expected to inhabit, versions of ourselves that existed beside them, rituals and communities, places we understood as home, and beliefs about love and belonging that once organized our lives.
Where The Love Goes Cycle
Have a Seat at the Table
For young women navigating a changing relationship with family, belonging, and the meaning of home.
A six-week counseling cohort for staying with what you know, what you don't yet know, and what this changing relationship is asking you to understand about yourself.
For women grieving the loss or fundamental transformation of a significant friendship.
A six-week counseling cohort for the particular heartbreak of losing someone who held an archive of you—and making meaning of the history, imagined future, and capacity for love that remain when the friendship changes.
For women loving someone they can no longer have in their lives in the same way.
A six-week counseling cohort for holding the contradiction of love that remains when access, closeness, or the relationship itself must change—and discerning what that love can become when it can no longer live where it once did.
THE PREMISE
We do not gather to get over what we loved.
The depth of our grief can tell us something about the depth of what mattered.
A relationship can end, change form, become uncertain, or become impossible to continue without making the love that existed within it meaningless.
Where the Love Goes creates somewhere for that love—and everything accompanying it—to go.
Together, we make room for grief, anger, tenderness, contradiction, uncertainty and recognition. We become curious about what happened, what we believed, what was lost, what belongs to us now, and what remains.
The work is not toward estrangement. It is not toward reconciliation. It is toward discernment.
You do not need to forgive. You do not need to stop loving. You do not need to make what happened smaller.
But you do need to be willing to encounter yourself within it.
WHERE THE LOVE GOES:
The Practice
The shared experience gets us to the table.
It does not require us to become the same once we're there.
Each Where the Love Goes cohort brings five women together over six weeks.
We begin in the body. We reflect privately. We speak and witness. We notice what being in relationship with one another stirs. We return to ourselves. And then we come back into relationship.
That movement matters.
These cohorts are not only places to tell the story of what happened. They are places to notice what happens inside us while we are known by other people.
Bring your journal. Bring the pen you always reach for, your favorite stationery, or simply yourself.
There is room to speak and room to listen. Room for silence. Room for contradiction. Room for what you do not yet know.
WHERE THE LOVE GOES:
The Orientation
Pain belongs here. So does agency.
You do not need to arrive healed.
You can arrive angry, confused, relieved, heartbroken, certain, deeply uncertain. You can know exactly what changed or only know that something has.
Where the Love Goes does not ask you to minimize what happened or assume responsibility for what was never yours.
It does ask for curiosity, self-inquiry, and enough openness to let another woman's experience be different from your own.
We can name what was done to us while remaining interested in what belongs to us now.
We can love someone without giving them access to us.
We can set boundaries without requiring ourselves to hate.
We can change our minds.
We can not know yet.
WHERE THE LOVE GOES:
My Role
My role is to hold the conditions for the work.
I am the anchor.
Five women can arrive carrying five different stories, make five different choices, and move at five different rhythms.
My role is not to make those experiences agree.
I anchor the structure that allows us to go somewhere meaningful together: pace, depth, discernment, responsibility, complexity, relationship, and return.
I am there to help us stay close enough to what is happening for something to become known, while helping each woman remain connected to herself as it does.